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LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING

ARIS P. AÑONUEVO, SSS                                              

SEXUALITY AND INTEGRATION


LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDORED THING
A Reflection on the chapter Metaphysical Analysis of Love
From the book Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla

          “Love is a many splendored thing, it’s the April rose that grows only in the spring….” So goes a song about love. It is a classic and it still rings true even after many generations from the time it was first heard. Love has many faces; it is a complex reality which has been the subject of great thinkers and writers of times past yet so simple and pure that it can make a poet out of an illiterate man. Love is a universal experience. Without love, according to a book entitled “The Name of the Rose,” life would be peaceful and tranquil, yet so dull. Love keeps us going, it makes the world go round!

            When was the last time I fell in love anyway? My mind wandered as I was browsing through the given material. The feeling became alive once more as if it were only yesterday when I professed my love to a girl I had my eye on way back in college. I could only smile at the memories of sleepless night thinking about her, the weekends which seemed to drag so slow, the thrill of looking into her brown eyes, the warmth of her touch and the sweetness of her smile. And then, the agony of defeat when she chose someone else. Perhaps I was very young then, unable to handle the strange feelings flooding into my consciousness. I admit I became a sentimental fool, I was all emotions. It was all about admiring the qualities and attributes that she possessed that are not in me. She seemed to fill that which is missing in me. When she turned me down I vowed never to invest too much emotion on love anymore. I’d be more detached, and practical. This resolution led me to read articles about body language, subtle seduction techniques, how to flirt. In short, I wanted to be more rational about love, never putting a woman on a pedestal, else, she would just run further away. There were times when I asked myself whether I still have the capacity to love genuinely.

            What is love? This has always been my question and this is also a question I am often asked about. My experiences of rejection early in life made me feel love as something to be scared about. I was contented of loving from a distance since it shields me from pain. When I am in the presence of my friends I am an outstanding wit but in her presence I am reduced to some incomprehensible grunts. Ah, a typical ‘torpe’ that I was. Teen agers of today are luckier with the technologies available. Back then, love letters got torn to shreds even before the message has been read. That was love for me, choosing to admire in silence, because in my silence there is no rejection.

            As I grew a little bit older, I encountered a broader definition of love. It went this way: “Love is a series of good intentions put into action by a lover to his/her beloved without counting the cost.” It is not enough, I was told, to love at a distance, it must be expressed in words, manifested in deeds, (no wonder I have been plagued by pimple back then, it was a case of unspoken love), without asking nor demanding something in return. I stood by this definition for years now even if I feel something one-sided about it. It seems to lean towards martyrdom, to

love and get hurt because it is better than not loving at all. It is all self giving. What about the giver?  Must he/she always give himself/herself in love because of the commitment to do so? It seemed to me that such a definition is devoid of the “kilig factor.”

            Having loved and lost before, I too, took an active part in this unending search for the meaning of what love is. Karol Wojtyla’s work came just at a right time. By far it is the most comprehensive work that I encountered in this subject. It opened up new dimensions and broadened my views. I found it even surprising that love is metaphysical. No wonder it is so hard to define it using simple categories. There points were he was able to put into words some thoughts that are struggling within me for utterance. And still others remind me of what others writers wrote in simpler language. Love, I realized, is not static, nor is it love at all to see everything from a distance. Love is that which transforms and improves the soul (P. Coelho).  Love is dynamic, a process which follows a pattern, it contains essential elements to be called such. When do love begin? Comradeship can be a seedbed for love since it is a ground where men and women could get in contact with each other thereby becoming aware of each other’s presence. It can yield situations where physical attraction are triggered and become a starting point of something that is deep. If it is shallow and based only on the outside, it can be easily turned of in the blink of an eye. When we are attracted, we say, we fall to a person. And when it waxed, we fall out of it. But when our attraction turns and grows into a desire, a longing for a person, we say that we have fallen in love. Desire can have selfish connotations but Wojtyla points out the desire that is connected to our need for companionship, for someone to fill the gap between our fingers. Bringing it further, I remember Nancy Van Pelt who said something like, “We don’t fall in love, we climb into it.” Climbing into love is another interesting dimension. When one gets over the emotions and great desire to be happy with another person, when being in love has faded, so to say, only love remains. This happens when a person desire also for what is good for the other. This is goodwill, a conscious act, a series of good intentions put into action. We seem to have gone back to my old definition. But let me assure you it will no longer lead to what I called martyrdom of sort. For Karol Wojtyla spoke of reciprocity because loving is not a one-way street, it is indeed a dynamic process and therefore it has to be reciprocated in order to be complete. “Unequited love is condemned first to stagnation, then to gradual extinction.” It is not something that exist in both persons involved but it exist between those persons. Two becomes one. Now there is an answer to the lovers’ cry, “Why is there ‘you’ and ‘me’ but there can never be ‘us’?” Love is not looking at one another but looking at one direction. This mutual relationship between two persons is called love. Mutual relationship, give and take, so to speak is what describes friendship. This reminds me of Princess Diana’s advice to his son William, “Marry your best friend.” No wonder priests would always advice newlywed couples to treat their spouse as their best friend for life.


To God be the glory.

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SUMMER GIMIKS IN THE SOUTH

We may not be BORACAY.


We may not be BOHOL.


We may not be PALAWAN.


But we know how to PARTY on a HOT Summer!


Sarangani and General Santos will be two of the places that you might book a flight for this Summer. SarGen (short for Sarangani and Gensan) got sizzling hot Summer Fest for all of you Beach Lovers.




Mark your calendar. First week of May, Gensan will have its very first 
DadSan Festival - a 3day Summer Festivities that you would surely come back for once you experience it. Click this for more details.


After beach bumming at the Queen Tuna Park of Gensan, you may pack your bags for another Summer Adventure. Just an hour ride away from General Santos City, Sarangani Province will be serving you their infamous Sarangani Bay Fest. Click this for more details.


Enjoy the beach and the activities in Sarangani and General Santos City this month of May with the DadSan Fest and Sarbay Fest.

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URBANDUB attacks DAVAO this March


Click this for more details...

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IPAD: A LUXURY OR NECESSITY?

Technology obviously has been gearing up. Man continues to explore, innovate and develop more to satisfy and meet the demands of the public. The advent of computer technology paves the way to global competitiveness in terms of production of handy gadgets that goes with the pace of this busy world.

Ipad is of course one of these amazing gadgets that answers to the demands of time. It delivers information as quickly as a click of a finger right before you anywhere and anytime. People of all walks of life need to quicken their steps to augment their income and make both ends meet. However, they need also a sort of protection for survival against the environmental and social challenges that may thwart their long- held dream to achieve their goals in life.

Ipad is one of the solutions to keep them abreast of the times and keep them aware of the earth shaking phenomena above all. It will also serve as their warning shot that they have to “stop look, and listen” to the pulse of this chaotic and busy world. Since it is handy, information is accessible even if they are trapped in a busy street waiting for the traffic jams to end or at a rest corner in a noisy mall taking a deep breath after long hours of heavy work or in a park while talking a rest or trying to breathe some fresh air or in a sea wall with their loved ones all along the way.

Yes Ipad may be useful at times and a necessity to cope with such above mentioned scenario but it is a luxury on the other hand for those who belong to the poverty line. For the elite or a few from the middle men who could afford to have such gadget, it is not a burden for their pockets but a basic need. Well, inasmuch as this product is presently in vogue and is like a proverbial hotcake among the upper class, it maybe coined as a status symbol, But time changes swiftly and this gadget will depreciate and soon become affordable and a need for the lower class. It is only a matter of come and go theory. This ipad will soon be a faded glory and will be replaced with a more advanced tool. Like for instance, before only the rich could afford to buy TV but time came that it has become easy to get for the poor.

The issue that Ipad is a necessity or luxury dies naturally as the influx of more advanced technological breakthroughs is uncontrollable. A want now may become a need as time goes by. The answer to the issue depends upon a consumer’s point of view. It is a luxury if his purpose is just to keep up with the Joneses even if it is already beyond his budget and income. It is a need if it is light to his pocket and is also fit for the nature of his work and his status in the society.

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FEAR


everywhere in this world we could see the land mark of FEARS

that slowly detriment our pleasant lives.

we can never hide our fears every time we encounter troubles and

sometimes we are out of our minds.

but why do we have to act this way??

putting fears at the center of our lives!!

maybe the answer is that we are JUST HUMAN BEING!!

a HUMAN who's emotion are too weak to fight.

a HUMAN who easily give up and lost their trust.

and in the end FEARS RULES OUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

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